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Me and my dearly beloved May 30, 2009

Posted by tokkilin in Happening !, The sphielz.
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Looking sadly at my macbook. Gently I told my macbook: “My dear, I’ve no idea what happened with the others, but they’re just gave up on me. Please, please, please, pretty please… don’t give up on me okay. I love you soooo muuchh. You’re part of my world now. You keep a lot more secret than the others. Even though you’re the youngest of all, you’re the most important part of my life”. My macbook has to endure the pressure from my fingers, trying to re-start every single minutes to revive its soulmate Mr.Ipod, while My BB Bold is trying hard to support me by shouting some sweet melodies in the background.

1 Month ago, Mrs. PC at my office gave up on me. One morning, she decided to become a vegetable. All the organs of her body was still alive, however she suffered a brain damage  (the-so-called XP Professional). I couldn’t retrieve anything out of it. All my hard-works seem to be in vain all of the sudden.

Not so long after Mrs. PC became vegetable, Mr. EHD (External Hard Drive) followed her path by suffering a total loss. Mr. EHD suffered a major organ breakage and had no power to support him. On his very last minute, he tried to revive himself. However, the sudden shock takes a toll on his brain. He lost all of his memory and power. 

I’ve been walking like a person without recollection of any memories. A chunk of my life has disappeared before my eyes. I feel empty and sad. Even though Mr. Ipod hold a small chunk of the memories, it wasn’t enough to revive me. 

Today, those nightmares feels like a deja vu. It repeats itself. This time was with Mr.Ipod. I tried everything I could to revive him. He suffered a slight brain damage. Even though he kept all the memories he had nicely, it was so hard to retrieve all the memories. I was almost given up for trying to revive Mr.Ipod. However, the fond memories of Mr.Ipod and me kept me going.

Now, he’s still in a coma. Trying hard to collect all the memories. So far, I can only retrieve 3% of the memories. It’s not enough. But, that’s the least the doctor could do to retrieve a little bit of the memories.

As I wrote this post, I’m still trying to revive Mr.Ipod. Hopefully my dear macbook  and my dear BB Bold will stay strong enough to go through this.


Stand By You – Drama Version May 29, 2009

Posted by tokkilin in Melodies of Life.
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Today is the first release day of the drama version Stand by you. Watching the movie version, it surely does convey the sweetness of the lyrics itself. Pretty heartbreaking seeing the movie. I believe everyone might have one of this experience in their life before (or is it only me?). No matter what, enjoy the drama version of the song Stand by you.

There’s another life behind the scene May 29, 2009

Posted by tokkilin in The sphielz.
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Strolling down highway 99, everyone was so tired. After those days we were hiking the trails, rafting, driving and walking around, I thought sleeping all day long would be a valid reason to spend the next day. However, the conversation on the last 3 hours of the day made me realized something that I never really think about before. There’s another life behind the scene.

All of these time, I was thinking the life that I live is pretty acceptable. I’m not that rich, yet I couldn’t say that I’m poor either. I think God blessed me in a way, it makes my life content. Back then when I live in Jakarta, I spent a lot of time watching all the glamorous life. Where all your needs will be fulfilled in a second. It’s not a bad thing. People could spend their time doing anything that their heart desired. Yes you need to work for it, but in another light, not everyone is fortunate enough to live the “fulfilled” life. 

Spending a lot of time in US sometimes will erase some unpleasant memories. Here in US, you barely seen people without some parts of their body and/or clothes strolling around the corner. I’ve been passing by busiest corner filled with homeless in San Francisco and Los Angeles, but everything felt different. If you watched Slumdog Millionaire, you would understand what I’m trying to say. Probably all of those scenes that you watched in the movie feels unreal. Where actually some part of the world, especially in Asia, you can see those scenes everyday.

How do you feel if you have a house but you don’t have any tiles or carpets to warm up your feet?
How do you feel if you have a job but it only pays for 3 days worth of food?
How do you feel if you can go to the doctors, but you can’t afford the medications?

Probably those questions were to simple to be answered. Probably those questions could be easily solved by some debates or charity. But those things couldn’t help the core of the problem itself. These thoughts occupied my mind for a while. Keep asking and telling myself that I’m too proud. Too proud to be a successful person but failed as a human being.

I might not able to help all of those needy people, but I can do something toward my community and myself. It will start from myself. I shouldn’t take anything in life for granted. Every minute passed by, another soul walked away. Those life behind the scenes remind myself: when I’m proud of my accomplishment, I should look back and reach out to help all of those people.

That’s my dream right now…

Japanese Expression 1 May 28, 2009

Posted by tokkilin in Current Affairs.
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Hei.. since I’ve been trying to translate some songs in Japanese, might as well learning some of the Japanese expression.

The first expression that I learned is: よろしくお願いします ahhh.. so hard to write it. Good things my keyboard works well with the language pack from Windows. Okay, back to the expression..

よろしくお願いします = yo ro shi ku o nega i shi ma su

To be better on explaining things, I got some help from a really nice website. This website explaining the use of this expression better than I am. 

So here it goes:


Watashi wa Romi desu. Yoroshiku onegai shimasu.
  My name is Romi. Nice to meet you.


Getsumatsu madeni ohenji o kudasai. Yoroshiku onegai shimasu.
  Please reply by the end of this month. Thank you in advance.


Douka musume o yoroshiku ongegai shimasu.
  Please look after my daughter.


“Yoroshiku” is a word with a number of meanings. Its etymological cousin, “Yoroshii” is an adjective meaning good, approved, desirable, and convenient. “onegai shimasu” consists of “o” ( a prefix of politeness), “negai” (originally, a noun denoting wish, hope, and the like), “shi”, which is an inflectional form of the general verb “suru” (do), and “masu”, an auxiliary verb of politeness. Thus, if I were to be forced to translate the phrase “Yoroshiku onegai shimasu.” into English, I would say, “I hope you will take care of ( someone / something ) in a way that is convenient for both you and me. (I count on your cooperation.)” Again, the group-oriented mentality of our agrarian society seems to be reflected in this expression.

As we can see in the example #1 above, we almost always say “Yoroshiku onegai shimasu,” at the end of self-introduction. In this context, the phrase in question means, “Please accept me as one of your friends / a member of your group. Please be kind to me, and do not exclude me from your group.”

The example #2 shows another situation where this phrase is used: when we ask someone else to do something for us. we say, “Please do this for me. Yoroshiku onegai shimasu.” Let me try explaining its underlying meaning: “I am sorry to trouble you, but I need your help and cooperation. Thank you in advance for your kindness to go out of your way to help me.”

The same explantion can apply in the example #3, too. However, in #3, Yoroshiku onegai shimasu, as a whole, is used as a sort of phrasal verb, accompanying an object musume o (my daughter). So it would be possible to interpret the sentence in the following way. “I would like you to look after my daughter. Please do whatever you can to live up to my daughter’s and my own expectations. Of course, I know it’s impossible for you to meet our every expectation, and that I should not expect you to do so. However, I would appreciate it if you are willing to take the trouble to help my daughter to the best of your ability. ” 

Chaaannn…. Therefore.. If I were to use this expression, I’ll say : Hi Agnes desu, yoroshiku onegaishimasu ! Hi, Agnes です、よろしくお願いします!

Thanks to: Romi for the help ! 🙂 

Stand By You May 27, 2009

Posted by tokkilin in Melodies of Life, {Q}uotation.
Tags: ,
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It’s been a while this song floating around in Japan’s radio station / bigeastation. I’ve been trying to get the song anywhere but couldn’t find it as the release date for the CD isn’t up yet (the single will be out July 1st). The song is another ballad song sung by TVXQ which has pretty sweet ballad tones. I didn’t really understand what’s the meaning of the song, since Japanese isn’t my first language. I have to wait for a while until people upload the actual Japanese Kanji for me to be able to translate it. Today, I found the lyrics in one of the website and the lyrics are as sweet as the song. The song has successfully dominate my day.

君がさよならを告げずに 出て行ったあの日から
この街の景色や匂いが 変わった気がするよ
君のすべてになりたくて 交わした約束も
果たされないまま 思い出に変わってしまう

ひとりきりで君が泣いたあの時 すぐに飛んで行けば
今もまだ君は 僕の横にいてくれた?
できるならばもう一度言いたかった 大好きって
君への思いを溢れ出した言葉も 今は届かない

君はどこにいて 誰とどこにいて
どんな服を着て 何して笑ってるんだろう
僕はここにいて 今もここにいて


結んだ髪の後ろ姿に 君を重ねて
振り返る知らぬ誰かに 何度も勘違いした
着信があるたび 君の名前を期待したり

忘れないは言って嘘で 本当は忘れたくないだけ
強がりが僕らしさならば もういらない
君がいなきゃ 何にも感じない幸せって
どう頑張ってみても零れ落ちた涙は すぐに止まらない

君はどこにいて 誰とどこにいて
どんな服を着て 何して笑ってるんだろう
僕はここにいて 今もここにいて

だから今こうして 僕はまたひとり 君の名前呼んでる

君がいるだけで 輝いて見えた
あの頃は 二度と戻ってはこないけど
何が起こっても 何を失っても
君を愛したこと 決して忘れたくない

君がどこにいて 誰とどこにいて
どんな夢を見て 何して笑っていても
ずっとここにいて 今もここにいて
君といつの日か 逢えると信じているよ


Since the day, you left without saying goodbye
I feel the scenery of this town has changed
I promise you
That I wanted to become your everything
It can’t be carried out
And it becomes a memory

If only I could run to you when you were crying by yourself back then,
Would you remain by my side?
If I was given one more chance,
I would tell you how much I love you.
The words of my overflowing feelings,
Can’t reach you anymore.

Where are you now?
Who are you being with?
What kind of clothes are you wearing?
What are doing and laughing at?

Where are you now?
Who are you being with?
What kind of clothes are you wearing?
What are you doing and laughing at?

I’m right here, even now, I’m still here
Because I believe
Someday, the two of us will meet again

These thoughts will not change
You’re the only one I’m thinking of

Repeatedly seeing the back of your tied hair
I turned around and often I made a mistake
Everytime someone’s coming towards me
I always expecting to call out your name
Everyday passed by so painfully

I lied when I say I can’t forget you
The truth is I don’t want to forget you
I  can’t lie anymore

If you’re not by my side,
I can’t feel the happiness.
No  matter how hard I try,
I’ll end up crying and my tears wouldn’t stop.

Where are you now?
Who are you being with?
What kind of clothes are you wearing?
What are you doing and laughing at?

I’m right here, even now, I’m still here
Because I believe
Someday, the two of us will meet again

These thoughts will not change
You’re the only one I’m thinking of

That’s why now, 
I call out your name.
I can’t continue this difficult journey forward
Holding on to these painful feelings
But that’s all I can do

You shone my world
When you were by my side
Even though I can never return to that time again,

No matter what will happened
No matter what I’ve lost
I’ve decided to never forget loving you

No matter wherever you are
No matter whoever you’re with
Whatever you’re dreaming of
Whatever you’re doing and laughing

I’m right here, even now, I’m still here
Because I believe
Someday, the two of us will meet again

These thoughts will not change
You’re the only one I’m thinking of

credits to: tvxqfever (for the japanese kanji), word lingo and google translate